Thursday, January 27, 2011

bill paying

Okay I know this is hard to believe but my dog ate the bills. Yep the whole stack of them.
I called the hospital that I owe $25.00. Left a message and they called me back today.  It went like this.
This is the hospital you said you wanted to pay a bill?
what is the date of the billing?
I don't know my dog ate the bills.
what is the account number?
account number?
Yes ma'am I need your account number.
Please let me go back and state again that my dog ate the bills.
oh ok what kind of dogs do you have?
what kind of dogs do I have?
okay shepherd rotties.
oh those are big dogs
humm yeah. So can I pay my bill
oh yes please give me your account number.
My account number?
My daughter then screams well it is laying right in front of you mom just give it to her.
the woman says I can wait for you to read it to me.
I say well it is sitting right in front of me. but in my dogs intestine someplace. So reading it will be hard to do.
oh I guess it will be.  so what is your name,  blaaaa blaaa. your address blaaa blaaa.  your date of birth bla bla bla.  How much do you owe?  I believe it is 25 dollars not the 20 grand one.  Oh ok the lady says,  I will be happy to take your payment, what is your account number?
At this point my eyes have rolled back in my head and my daughter is cracking up. 
Once again my dog ate the bills. I can not read them, I do not have x ray vision.  Can you take a payment or not. 
Oh sure what is your credit card number.   

I really wanted to say the dog ate it too.

How stupid can one get?

So a friends almost 19 year old sons email sends out the spam that we have all been getting.  You know the one for viagra, cialis etc.   The mother who gets the email writes the following to the father 5000 miles away.

maybe I'm reading too much into this... Cody sent this to me and I'm quite sure by accident. Notice the link address has nothing to do with what really comes up so its a cover.

He needs to get away from that damn place. Please talk to him, not scold him. This is the kind of shit that will take Cody away from us.

Get into his head about drugs and sex. He's too immature for this stuff and it worries me.

Okay we all know at this point the mother is an idiot and we have to pull the stupid card out on her.  The following is the response to the mothers email from the father.

OMG!!! I found his stockpile of Viagra!!! He took a couple and has been walking around with a boner for a week! They sent him home from work Sunday because a 70 year old lady was offended when he tried to slip by her and rubbed his junk accross her back. I dont know what to do. Some of the addresses he sent it to are his teachers!! A couple are women, but one is a guy!!! What can it mean???

Or, it could be junk e-mail that reads your address book and spams everyone in it.... Just a thought.

So how are you doin'?


I share this with you all so that you will know what to do when you get one of these emails in your inbox.  Please do not do what Wen did and panic, run screaming in the streets and send your x an email freaking out.  Or you will look like more of an idiot than you already are.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Insane religion. Stay away from my house!

To the Two guys who just rang my door bell. It is below 20 degrees. Your religion hates you and is trying to kill you. Try being Catholic, we drive, drink and celebrate birthdays and halloween! Yes I was home, nope I did not answer my door. Yep my dogs would have eaten you and your back pack. Have a nice day and get a hat and gloves. Stay off my hill!